Parents Avoid Hard -- but Helpful -- Conversations With Gen Z

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to a new Gallup survey, at least 80% of Generation Z children say it is helpful when their parents talk to them about various aspects of their life -- including their experiences at school, with mental health and on social media. But many of their parents say it is not easy to discuss these topics with their children, leading some to avoid engaging in these conversations.

As part of its ongoing research into the experiences of Gen Z, Gallup and the Walton Family Foundation partnered with clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour to explore the relationships that 10- to 18-year-old Gen Z children have with their parents, the resources and support systems their parents rely on, and how both groups navigate the sometimes-challenging experience that is being -- and raising -- a preteen or teenager. Results are based on 1,675 pairs of responses from 10- to 18-year-old children and one of their parents or guardians, collected via web survey March 13-20, 2024.

Parents Worry Most About Kids’ Future Plans, Mental Health, and School Experience

Eight in 10 parents of Gen Zers say they “often” or “very often” worry about at least one aspect of their child’s life, and 41% say they often worry about five or more of the 13 topics they were asked about. Just 2% of parents say they “rarely” or “never” worry about their child.

The leading sources of parents’ worry include their child’s plans for the future (42%), mental health (40%), experiences at school (40%), physical safety (40%), and experiences on social media (39%).

Certain segments of parents worry more about their children than others. Across all 13 topics, the average percentage of parents who often worry is 32%; however, the average level of worry is higher among parents who are sole caregivers (44%), 34 years or younger (43%), Black (41%) or Hispanic (40%), guardians who are not the biological parent of the child (40%), and those whose children are eligible for free or reduced-price lunch at school (39%).

Between half and just over three-quarters of parents say it is easy to discuss these topics. The ones parents are most likely to say are easy to discuss include their child’s grades (78%), physical safety (76%), substance use (75%), health (74%) and friendships (73%). Meanwhile, parents are about 20 percentage points less likely to say it is easy to have conversations about their child’s social media habits and feelings.

The average ease or difficulty that parents report in discussing these topics with their child does not vary significantly by parents’ gender or race. This is also true of every individual topic, with two exceptions: Fathers are less likely than mothers to say it is easy to discuss their child’s feelings (52% vs. 59%, respectively), and Hispanic parents are less likely than White parents to find it easy to discuss physical safety with their child (70% vs. 79%). While the average ease of conversation does not follow a clear trend based on parents’ age, 69% of 35- to 44-year-old parents, on average, say these 13 topics are easy to talk about with their children, compared with 60% of parents 34 and younger, and 63% of parents 45 and older.

Some of these conversations are particularly problematic for parents -- highly concerning but hard to talk about. When combining parents’ worry about and ease of discussing different subjects with their children, about one in five parents say they often worry about -- but find it difficult to discuss -- their child’s social media use, feelings, mental health and future plans. Among parents who often worry about these topics, between 42% and 55% say it is easy to talk about them.

Parents Who Find Conversations Difficult Are Less Likely to Have Them

How frequently parents talk to their children varies widely by topic. For example, about two-thirds of parents very often or often discuss their child’s school experiences, while about half as many regularly discuss their child’s social media use. Even fewer parents have frequent conversations about substance use (24%) or romantic relationships (19%); this frequency increases as children get older, but only about 30% of parents often discuss either issue with their 16- to 18-year-old children.

Whether parents raise a topic frequently or infrequently is often related to how much they worry about that topic, as well as their level of comfort in discussing it. Several issues that parents worry most about -- their child’s future plans, mental health and social media use -- are among the subjects they discuss least or find most difficult to talk about.

While both worry about and ease of discussing a topic have independent effects on how often parents have these conversations -- parents who often worry about a topic tend to discuss it more than those who worry less, and parents who find it easy to discuss a topic are more likely to bring it up than those who find it difficult -- the extent to which parents are talking with their kids is best explained by the interaction between worry and comfort.

Parents who worry a lot about an aspect of their child’s life, but find it easy to discuss, are by far the most likely to be engaging in conversations about that issue with their child. However, parents who often worry about a topic, but do not find it easy to discuss, are typically far less likely to say they’re bringing up those concerns with their child. For example, among parents who worry about their child’s experiences on social media, 61% of those who find it easy to discuss this often do so, compared with 33% of parents who are less comfortable with such discussion.

In some cases, these worried-but-hesitant parents are talking with their children less than parents who say they don’t worry about a topic but nevertheless find it easy to bring up. This suggests that many parents who are concerned about their children are avoiding conversations because these topics are difficult to discuss.

Kids Value Conversations With Their Parents About Hard Topics

Although many parents are hesitant to bring up sensitive subjects with their children, kids generally find talking with their parents to be beneficial. Between 80% and 93% of children say conversations with their parents about each of these topics are helpful.

Though most children find it helpful to talk with their parents, parents who are more hesitant to discuss certain aspects of their child’s life may be responding to their child’s receptivity to those conversations: Children whose parents find it difficult to discuss a topic are 5 to 13 percentage points less likely to say those conversations are helpful than children whose parents say they are easy to discuss. Still, even among children whose parents say it is not easy to discuss a topic, between 72% and 90% still find these conversations helpful, suggesting that many parents are shying away from conversations their kids feel would benefit them.

Bottom Line

According to the parents of Gen Zers, one uniting experience of having kids is worrying about them. In many ways, the challenges that parents cite in 2024 likely resemble those faced by parents in 1974 or 1924 -- looking after their kids’ health and safety, navigating first crushes and first heartbreaks, and helping them understand what they might want to be when they grow up. But modern parents -- and the U.S. Surgeon General -- are uniquely confronted by and worried about the rise of social media and its harmful effects on the mental health of young people.

Many parents are avoiding conversations about these very topics they are most concerned about. Less than half of parents who often worry about their child’s future plans, mental health and experiences on social media say they frequently discuss these topics with their child. But there is widespread agreement among kids themselves that talking with their parents about all these subjects -- even the tough ones -- is helpful. Eighty-three percent of children say talking about their experiences on social media with their parents is helpful; 92% say the same about mental health conversations.

Time, place and manner likely influence exactly how helpful an individual conversation is. For example, the same survey found that when kids were asked to select one or more actions they want their parents to take when they are upset, 28% of kids want their parents to give them advice, while more than twice as many children said they just want their parents to listen (62%). Still, 80% to 93% of Gen Zers are aligned in letting their parents know that discussing the challenges they face -- even the ones that might be hard to talk about -- is a helpful activity.

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Learn more about how the Walton Family Foundation Voices of Gen Z survey works.